I'm tired. I'm tired of being told what to think, how to feel or what pill to take when I don't conform.
I'm tired of watching the world around me fall into the great shithole of stupidity and knowing that while there have been great people in the past, who have set out to achieve change and to try to make things better and actually accomplished those goals, I'm not one of those people. I used to be angry that I let things like that bother me, these days I just want to watch it all burn.
Maybe I should strive to be a world changer and it's quite possible my irritation with myself is over my own apathy rather than my impotence. Maybe I do have the ability to make real changes in the world around me. Maybe I can be the difference I want to see.
Then again, maybe the world isn't as terrible as I think it is and it's my own chaotic life I see going down the shithole. Or maybe I'm sick after a long, cold, snowy winter and I just need a good dose of sunshine.
Or maybe it's just time I stopped letting the monkeys get to me and work harder on enjoying the ride.
I can 'maybe' myself into or out of any situation and in truth don't we all? Don't we all try to justify our activism or lack thereof, do we not all rage for or against The Machine ™ at some time or another.
Do we not 'maybe' ourselves thru the hour, day, week, month…..
Yes there are terrible horrible things happening out there in the world. Yes, if we banned enough together we might actually achieve change. The real question is these days, "Do we want to?"
So here is what I've decided for myself. I'm getting back on that highway and I'm going to drive like there is no tomorrow until there is no tomorrow. I can't fix the world and at this point, I no longer want to try.
But I am damn well going to enjoy its collapse.
So what the fuck are you going to do?